Defense Lawyers and Maytag Repairmen

Do you recall this guy, the "Maytag repairman," from the Maytag Company's television commercials? He was depicted as "the loneliest guy in town," because, according to Maytag, their appliances never needed repairs!

Well, as a criminal defense attorney, I sometimes feel like the Maytag repairman, too! Let me explain! As a former federal prosecutor for over 20 years, I often had a team of federal agents at my disposal, while working with me on major fraud and public corruption cases. On one major Medicare fraud case, I supervised a task force of five auditors and six or more agents. If I wanted to subpoena a witness, I simply picked up the telephone and called one of my agents and asked them, (politely, of course!), to go and serve it. And if I wanted some more witnesses, I could send out a team of agents to find them.

But now, as a criminal defense lawyer, I no longer have the full weight and power of the federal government at my disposal. If I need to subpoena a witness, I must either pay a private investigator to do it, or I do it myself. And if I need some more witnesses, I must get on my horse and go find them myself! In many ways, I am all alone, while aggressively defending my clients!

So, don't you see, a criminal defense attorney is sort of like the Maytag repairman, "the loneliest man in town!"